I've never been a good musician. I only really know how to play the guitar, and I used to play it well when I was in high school and my only concern in life was learning to play Weezer's complete discography (which by then consisted of only two albums and maybe a dozen singles), and even back then, my only actual skill was a good ear for deciphering chords and chord patterns as I hear them played. Not a bad skill to have, and I still have it, but it doesn't have the professionality of being able to not only read actual notes on paper but also knowing how to play them on actual instruments, which is the measure of a true musician, as most people will say.
And so I've only come to enjoy Beck's SONG READER in two ways: one as a beautiful artifact, and the other as an album whose main concept - its entire raison d'etre - I can merely enjoy vicariously by watching and listening to other people reading and playing it. And I find that endlessly frustrating, not being able to play these songs, as someone who had been for fifteen years playing Beck's more folksy guitary songs not only from MELLOW GOLD and ODELAY, but also a few tracks from STEREOPATHETIC SOULMANURE and ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an absolute idiot musician, I know what the notes mean when they're placed where they're placed. My problem is, I can't hear them in my head, thus I can't play them on my guitar (or melodica, for that matter). And truth be told, what really burns me up are the notations for the singing, as that's where the song is blasted to absolute abstraction, where not even the chords are helping.
It's endlessly frustrating, but it's a curious frustration: I know what the symbols mean but at the same time, I can't understand them. It's like mathematics, that way, or some performance art, but unlike math and performance art, I can't laugh SONG READER away as just like any Beck album, I know I'll love it once I get into it, and I always get into Beck album's on the first listen, and most especially when I get to learn how to play the songs (god knows how often I've played "Nitemare Hippy Girl" while pining after girls since highschool). And this is the root of my frustration.
I love Beck's SONG READER, but it's starting to feel like my love for 11-year-old Natalie Portman: merely one-sided, and it'll never be consummated.
And so I've only come to enjoy Beck's SONG READER in two ways: one as a beautiful artifact, and the other as an album whose main concept - its entire raison d'etre - I can merely enjoy vicariously by watching and listening to other people reading and playing it. And I find that endlessly frustrating, not being able to play these songs, as someone who had been for fifteen years playing Beck's more folksy guitary songs not only from MELLOW GOLD and ODELAY, but also a few tracks from STEREOPATHETIC SOULMANURE and ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an absolute idiot musician, I know what the notes mean when they're placed where they're placed. My problem is, I can't hear them in my head, thus I can't play them on my guitar (or melodica, for that matter). And truth be told, what really burns me up are the notations for the singing, as that's where the song is blasted to absolute abstraction, where not even the chords are helping.
It's endlessly frustrating, but it's a curious frustration: I know what the symbols mean but at the same time, I can't understand them. It's like mathematics, that way, or some performance art, but unlike math and performance art, I can't laugh SONG READER away as just like any Beck album, I know I'll love it once I get into it, and I always get into Beck album's on the first listen, and most especially when I get to learn how to play the songs (god knows how often I've played "Nitemare Hippy Girl" while pining after girls since highschool). And this is the root of my frustration.
I love Beck's SONG READER, but it's starting to feel like my love for 11-year-old Natalie Portman: merely one-sided, and it'll never be consummated.
No comments:
Post a Comment